24th December, Shoreditch
To sum it up; Swedish Christmases are completely backwards. We celebrate Christmas on the 24th, the highlight of the day is the reruns of old Disney clips at 3 pm and our Santa comes knocking on the door after dinner (yeah he walks - he's a Viking after all).
As the Bestie was in London ahead of our upcoming Mexico trip, we had a somewhat Swedish Christmas ahead of the bigger event on Christmas Day - seeing that the last Christmas we spent together was in a freezing house in Dublin years ago with all entertainment coming from a barely functioning lap top. 2013 was bound to beat that one. At least we wouldn't expect anyone to catch pneumonia this time around.
The plan was for me to leave the office at 2 pm, pick up some of the last minute shopping and then head home to dinner and fun times with Donald Duck. Now. anyone who knows me would probably acknowledge that 90% of my plans tend to go pear shaped at the very early stages - this time was no exception.
Getting off work on religious purposes - being Swedish - was apparently not an option, but I would very much have hoped I'd get out of the office before 4 pm on Christmas Eve. I also found out the hard way that picking up the last pieces for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve in the Canary Wharf Waitrose was not the greatest idea. And finally - getting a cab in Canary Wharf on Christmas Eve is also pretty unlikely to be a straight forward experience.
As I made it home my temporary house wife otherwise known as the Bestie had even me dinner and had the champagne at the ready as we were celebrating not only Christmas - but the beginning of two weeks off from boring everyday stuff.
Traditionally, Swedish Christmas dinner consist of extra everything; we're talking giant hams, meatballs, 4 or 5 different types of sausages. a million types of herrings, all different types of salmons, potato gratins of different varieties, different style eggs, patees, brussel sprouts, beetroot salads, ribs and then some. The funny thing is - Swedish Christmas is also supposedly about everyone sharing their wealth which may not make 100% sense when you basically eat yourself half to death whilst exchanging gifts that no one most likely really needs....
However, tradition for me and the Bestie is generally a lot of TV on Christmas Eve.
Starting off with a cartoon version of Shakespear's the Tempest where Caliban is a gardener made of lettuce - we made damn sure no particularly deep thought were required that night. We did however learn that we all need to share. So no surprises this year either.
Following on with already mentioned Disney clips, we did start getting some funny looks from the Flatmate and his friend the Police Officer. It also sparked the following round of questions:
Q: Are they showing these particular clips every year?
A: Yes, it's always been that way.
Q: So they never change them?
A: No they can't - it's always been that way.
Q: Is there a reason there's both a voice over and subtitles when you can still hear the original sound in the background?
A: No, but they can't change it obviously. It's always been that way.
I think the boys gave up and started to drink around the time the Swedish girls on the sofa started to do the voices of Ferdinand the friendly bull who doesn't want to fight . That's almost as important of a lesson as sharing.
Finally, we hit the jackpot when finding a subtitled version of the story of Karl Bertil - the boy who gives the rich people's presents to the poor, all set in 1975 Stockholm and again viewed every year at the same time. By now, the boy had converted the Swedish language into a drinking game.
So, no matter what gifts are under your non-plastic tree and how much Quality Street is on offer Christmas Day; if you want to be a little Swedish - and Lord knows we're on trend right now - make sure to share a little where you can.
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