37. The Other List

21st January 2014, Shoreditch, London

Some people say never say never, I say some people are stupid.

Of course there are thing you'd never do! Saying anything else means that you're either way too impressionable or that you like using washed out quotes in lack of better things to say.

When I started talking about this blog, some people were (not always so) sweet enough to help me with suggestions. And it's not that I don't appreciate it, hell, I have 90 odd slots left on the list - but I don't have a death wish and I do have some pride.

So, number 37 on The List, is another list. These are the things I will most certainly never do:

1. KFC: I can proudly say that I have never and will never set foot in a KFC. I just don't get the deal or what it is that I'm missing out on. It's chicken deep fried beyond recognition all served up with... Baked Beans. Are you kidding me?
2. Parashooting: I have a fairly decent record when it comes to landing myself in accidents, whether it's falling down escalators, riding bikes straight into brick walls or getting myself run over by trucks - I'm damn good at landing myself with pretty severe injuries. So throwing myself out of a plane with nothing but a piece of fabric to save me - not going to happen.
3. Vajazzling: Fun to joke about, in the exact same way as most things introduced by the TOWIE cast - it's not in any way that I am laughing with them.
4. Twilight: The movie, the book, all of it. I'm sorry, but every bone in my semi feminist body rejects the very idea of the plot. The girl is clearly desperately dependant on the boy who is obviously much, much more amazing than her and worth giving up your entire life for. Of course he is! And obviously if you sleep with the guy before you're married he will lose all control and rip you apart. Of course he will! And obviously you have to carry your child in spite of it basically being a demon and you running the risk of dying in the process. Of course you do! Have we really not come further?
5. India: As a very wise man once said, India is an acronym for I Am Never Doing It Again. OK, so I know that you should not judge an entire place based on one bad (horrendous) experience, but if the experience is as bad as my four days in Delhi, it's an acceptable thing to do. Still deeply traumatised three years on, I can guarantee you that I will not ever set foot there again.
6. Have babies: Strictly speaking I'm not sure I've agreed to this. But I have been informed that it is not happening. By my nieces. Apparently they have enough cousins. But if I wish to have a puppy that's OK.

Other than these - I am always up for a challenge and have 90 slots to go!