Friday 21 November 2014

223. Face Lift for Cowards

28th October 2014, Pharaoh Beauty, Shoreditch, London

Yep, the fear of turning 30 is most definitely there.

Hence, I am taking any action possible to keep my face from sagging – as long as it won’t entail people approaching my head with scalpels. I am not quite ready for that yet.

The latest trial in my war against a 30-something-face, are non surgical face lifts. In other words, someone prodding your face with a mini hoover to allegedly plump it all up.

I’m not sure it’s actually referred to as a hoover, but it’s essentially it. Looks a bit like a bar code scanner, only it sucks on your face rather than establish your price. And to be honest – I’d rather have that thing suck on my face than some disastrous first dates who failed to see the difference between a persons’ mouth and their cheeks, chin and nose.

So after 30 minutes of face sucking, 3 times in one week, was there any result? None, whatsoever. I definitely still look like I might enter a new decade next year.

I least I got a nap listening to dolphins!


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