Thursday 17 July 2014

166. Afternoon Tea for the Less-Than-Posh

4th July 2014, Kettner's, Soho, London

There are so many reasons the idea of my Baby Bro at afternoon tea made me chuckle. My Baby Bro likes man food, t-shirts & jeans and beer. Unfortunately for Baby Bro & Buddy and fortunately for me, they both have girlfriends who wanted to see more of London than pubs and football.

Upon the request from Sis-In-Law to go for afternoon tea when they were in town, I took it as a great opportunity to finally try out the high tea selection at Kettner's in Soho.

Now I'm a big lover of Kettner's Restaurant as a Sunday lunch destination with the girls and the Kettner's Champagne Bar for accidental gay pride celebrations. It is really the most beautiful venue and a true London social staple and I have never gone there and had a bad time in the four year's since I first stumbled across it. I also love afternoon tea and see it as a true pillar of British life, although the only people seemingly going for afternoon tea these days are tourists and people who can recall World War II.

So, the time had come to pick up the kids - my brother is a whopping  14 months younger than me - and walk to Soho for this wonderful, traditional afternoon outing. The girlfriends had dressed the part in dresses and cardigans and the boys wore... T-shirt, jeans and trainers. That's my brother in a nutshell and I love him for it.

He however did not love me too much as we walked through the hall of Kettner's, into the chandelier lit backroom filled with housewives planning charity events over tea. I do swear that one of the housewives kept topping up her tea out of a flask.

Needless to say, my brother was not crazy about this set up. No amounts of 'it looks awesome, really' through clenched teeth can hide the look of hatred I've known only too well since I stole my Baby Bro's Spider Man toy and buried it in the garden twenty odd years ago. The look that says 'this ain't over bitch, one of these days, you will wake up and find every single one of your Barbies without hair'. The prospect of sipping tea out of tiny cups whilst eating equally tiny sandwiches and equally tiny cakes just did not seem to strike his fancy.

After a gigantic Gin & Tonic however, he seemed to be over his initial scepticism and happily dug into the Wimbledon Cream Tea in honour of the tennis none of us understands the rules of. I love the outfits though. Essentially, Wimbledon Cream Team just means everything has strawberries in it as it turns out.

The afternoon tea at Kettner's did in no way disappoint, and this is from a person who counts afternoon tea as one of her top 3 food groups along with Ben&Jerry and Pizza East pizza, and is therefore rather picky with it. Filled with yummy finger sandwiches of both the classic and more inventive types, one of the most perfectly baked scones I've ever had, gorgeous macaroons and even more gorgeous strawberry parfait bites. Feast for the eyes, feast for my tummy.

And after finishing our tea and about a million pieces of cake, I believe my brother is now an afternoon tea convert who even got onboard with his girlfriend's plans for having people over for tea at her birthday. Amazing transformation in other words.

I knew you could do it Kettner's!

Afternoon Tea is always so much better with a glass of champagne.

Amazing cake selection!

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